If Men Ran the Holidays (And Why We’re Grateful Women Do!
It’s that time of year again — the “most wonderful time of the year” - unless, of course, you’re the fascinating woman running it.
Guest lists, grocery runs, menus, decor, gift ideas, travel plans, matching pajamas, and oh yes - what am I going to wear?
It’s like taking on a part-time job as the CEO of Holiday Magic, with no salary but a bonus in twinkle lights and family memories.
And sure, we could say, “No thanks, I’m keeping it simple this year.” But for most of us, “simple” still includes baked brie, themed napkins, and a scented candle that smells like a cinnamon hug from heaven.
Why? Because we care. We teach in Fascinating Womanhood that we love the people we love so much that we want the holidays to feel like something more than just another Thursday.
Imagine a World Where Men Ran the Holidays
Now, humor me for a moment. Let’s picture a world where men were in charge of the holidays. (Cue It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chaos!)
Thanksgiving dinner.
No you - just him.
He’s in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, fumbling through your recipe binder like it’s a bomb-defusal manual. Dinner’s running late. The rolls are… well, crispy. The turkey? Grilled at 400° for fifteen minutes because, “It looked done!”
Guests are seated on lawn chairs, using gas station forks. Your great aunt and that cousin who hasn’t spoken to her since 2007? Seated side by side, naturally.
Now, before the men in the room revolt, let’s pause. Fascinating Womanhood loves men and we know that there are plenty of talented male cooks and incredible hosts out there. (My husband makes a turkey so good it could run for office!)
But even he would admit, there’s something women bring to the holidays that can’t be replicated with logic, efficiency, or a spreadsheet.
Why Women Make the Holidays Magical
Let’s unwrap this mystery like a gift under the tree, shall we?
Women have “super-sensing” radar.
Studies show women tend to have more sensitive hearing, up to 2 decibels more on average, and sharper smell detection. This is what we talk about in my book with the differences between men and women and why it’s important to identify our talents. It’s all in the little things like why we know the cookies are about to burn three rooms away while he’s blissfully humming to Mariah Carey.Women read the emotional room.
We notice who looks lonely, who needs a cheese ball refill, and who shouldn’t sit next to Uncle Ted. Women generally score higher in empathy and social sensitivity, meaning we pick up on moods, tensions, and subtle cues like a holiday emotional Wi-Fi network. It’s in our nature to notice it all!Women carry the “mental load.”
You know it’s true - that invisible list in our heads:Buy the teacher gift that warms their heart
Buy your husband a gift he’ll never forget
Sign the Christmas cards and make it personal
Wrap the gifts with paper that “speaks to you” and the recipient
Decorate the house - it needs to be magical
Scented candles - the house needs to smell magical!
Cookies… and more cookies!
Hide the elf (again)
Pretend we didn’t forget the elf (again)
Sociologists call this cognitive labor. We just call it “basic holiday readiness.”
4. Women give gifts that mean something.
We don’t just grab a random gift card and call it a day (unless, of course, it’s the only option). We think about what will delight someone - their favorite scent, a memory we share, the little thing they mentioned once in passing. Our gifts say, I know you. I listen. You matter.
5. Women create atmosphere, not just decorations.
The lighting, the music, the scent of cookies — these are emotional design choices. We make the house feel like home. A man might hang a wreath; a woman creates a mood.
6. Women see holidays as love in action.
To us, it’s not a checklist, it’s a chance to express love. The care, the details, the way we remember Aunt Linda hates nuts in her cranberry sauce, that’s our version of poetry.
The Feminine Touch: The Heart of the Holidays
As we say in Fascinating Womanhood, when a woman stands at the center of a home, holiday season or not, something quiet but extraordinary happens. It’s not loud or flashy; it’s a kind of magic that hums beneath the surface.
She doesn’t just cook; she nourishes souls with comfort food that somehow tastes like love.
She doesn’t just decorate; she transforms four walls into a sanctuary where peace and belonging hang in the air.
She doesn’t just host; she weaves people back together with laughter, kindness, and a second helping of mashed potatoes.
Her gentle touches, the twinkle lights she can’t resist adding, the music that takes everyone back, the little traditions she keeps alive… these are the invisible threads that turn chaos into comfort and noise into nostalgia.
And let’s not forget the women who don’t have children!
They’re often the ones who show up with beautifully wrapped gifts, handwritten cards, or thoughtful surprises that make birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day feel extra special. They remind us that “mothering” isn’t just about raising kids - it’s about nurturing hearts, spreading joy, and making ordinary days feel like celebrations.
Now, some might call this “emotional labor” and sigh at the unfairness of it all. And yes, there are moments when it feels like a lot - when we wish someone else would hang the garland or remember which niece is gluten-free. But the truth is, this isn’t about obligation. It’s about instinct.
We don’t have to do any of it - we want to.
Because deep down, women have this built-in desire to make things beautiful, to create warmth where there was once just space.
We call it “making the holidays happen.” And it’s okay to love it, to take pride in it, even. Because what we’re really doing isn’t just decorating a home… we’re building the heart of one.
The Masculine Counterpart: The Backbone Behind the Scenes
Now, let’s give men their due credit.
Who braves the icy roof to hang lights (without a spotter, of course)?
Who ventures into Costco on Christmas Eve armed with nothing but a list and misplaced confidence?
Who carves the turkey like it’s a competitive sport?
Who makes us laugh when we’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown? In Fascinating Womanhood, we call this a masculine man - and he’s a keeper!
That’s their brand of holiday heroism. Men bring the muscle, the bravery, and the humor that keeps us from losing it when the gravy burns.
But it’s often a woman’s warmth that gives those moments meaning.
He lifts the tree. She lifts the spirit.
If Men Really Ran the Holidays…
1953, Man Tangled Up in Christmas Decorations by Al Brule
We’d probably all be eating takeout around a half-decorated tree, watching football, and calling it “nailed it.”
And honestly? They’d be pretty proud, and we’d love them for it.
But thank goodness women don’t stop at “good enough.”
We turn gatherings into memories, and messes into magic.
A Final Toast to You
So here’s to the women who keep the candles glowing and the chaos under control.
Because without your laughter, warmth, and care,
the holidays might still happen,
…but they wouldn’t feel like the holidays.
And to the men: thank you for the lights, the ladders, the Costco runs, and most importantly the warmth and safety you consistently bring. You make our magic possible.
Together, we make it merry and bright.
