Courage in Heels: How Women Show Strength in Their Own Way
Mark Twain once wrote, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.” Every time I read that, I think about the countless moments in my life when fear rises up, and I try to bury it, hoping somehow bravery will magically appear. But we all know courage doesn’t work that way—it’s something we grow, step by step, from within.
Most people talk about courage as if it’s one thing—but is masculine courage the same as feminine courage? I don’t think so. Today, let’s explore four common types of courage, but from a woman’s perspective. Think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz singing, “If I only had the nerve!”—we’re going to take that familiar idea and give it a feminine twist, looking at why courage feels different for women and how we can grow it in our own lives.
How Courage is Framed Differently
Masculine Courage
Men’s courage is often framed around war, physical battles, politics, and leadership. History books highlight knights, gladiators, kings, firefighters, soldiers, and men doing grueling manual labor. These are bold, outwardly visible acts of courage.
Feminine Courage
Women’s courage often looks different—but it is no less powerful. We bring life into the world, wake up in the night with sick babies, juggle work and family, and keep going even when hormones, exhaustion, or self-doubt threaten to hold us back.
Research on women shows that many acts of courage come from a sense of responsibility and love — for our children, families, communities, or causes we care about (Emerald, 2024). Psychologists note that love itself requires courage: risking rejection, putting someone else’s needs ahead of our own, and opening our hearts even when it’s scary (Psychology Today, 2014).
This is why Fascinating Womanhood teaches that courage is often rooted in love. For men, courage is often tied to protection and duty; for women, it often springs from love. Either way, courage isn’t about being fearless—it’s about digging deep, finding what matters most, and letting that push us forward.
Courageous Characters in History
Think of Scarlett O’Hara. After losing everything, she starts her life over again. She’s seen as selfish by some and courageous by others. I see her as both—a perfect example of how courage isn’t always clean or simple.
Many historical women didn’t sacrifice femininity to be strong. Softness, nurturing qualities, beauty, and grace often made their strength even more remarkable. Here are some examples:
Joan of Arc – Wore armor and led troops, but called herself a simple “maid of France.” Her devotion, innocence, and purity were celebrated as feminine traits at the time.
Queen Esther – Used her beauty and femininity to gain favor, but her courage in speaking up saved her people.
Harriet Tubman – Remembered for grit and toughness, yet her warmth and motherly care for those she rescued were integral to her courage.
Rosa Parks – Quiet dignity, modesty, and ladylike demeanor gave her protest power.
Malala Yousafzai – Survived being shot for speaking out, yet her gentle, graceful presence makes her courage all the more striking.
Mother Teresa – Her maternal, tender femininity coexisted with extraordinary courage in facing poverty, disease, and global scrutiny.
Mother Teresa at Lime Street Station, 1980 — licensed under CC0 (Public Domain)
Courage That Leans More “Masculine”
Some women show courage in ways society often labels masculine.
Margaret Thatcher – The “Iron Lady” projected strength and control, often in ways coded as masculine leadership traits.
Hillary Clinton – Known for her political toughness, & command-oriented leadership style. Her hard-edged approach has often kept her from fully reaching the goals she’s worked so tirelessly to achieve.
Even so, feminine leadership still thrives in politics and beyond. Think Princess Diana, Kate Middleton, and Giorgia Meloni—all women who lean into traditionally feminine values while leading effectively and creating meaningful change.
The 4 Core Areas of Courage for Women
1. Physical Courage
Not just running into burning buildings—it’s the everyday bravery of childbirth, nursing babies, enduring hormonal shifts, or showing up to work when your body protests. Even walking confidently in a swimsuit (haven’t we all been there?) or speaking in public requires silencing self-doubt and stepping forward anyway.
2. Leadership Courage
Leadership courage is using your voice, taking risks, leading in your community, or parenting with love and discipline. It’s also in the countless invisible roles women take on—balancing family, work, and personal commitments while still carving space to make a difference.
3. Ethical Courage
Living by your values, even when it’s hard. It’s listening to your moral compass, speaking truth with grace, and standing firm in what’s right—even if no one is watching.
4. Intuitive Courage
The hardest battles are often internal. Intuitive courage means mastering your emotions, honoring commitments, and choosing integrity over convenience. Online, it means resisting the urge to lash out, choosing thoughtful honesty instead. True courage balances honesty with harmony, strength with compassion.
And at the heart of it all? Love.
Courage often springs from love—love for children, family, our values, and ourselves. It fuels us to push past fear, speak up, and keep going when we feel like giving up.
Courage in Real Life
Sometimes courage looks different than we expect. In my recent members-only live chat on Youtube, a woman shared one of the bravest moments of her life: leaving her 3-month-old baby for army deployment and returning to a 12-month-old she barely knew. Even now, sharing this story brings judgment and fear—but she does it anyway. Her willingness to speak honestly reminds us that courage isn’t just about what we do—it’s also about having the strength to carry our stories, even when others don’t understand.
Erika Kirk is making headlines these days for her remarkable courage, though some folks have labeled it “fake” or even called her behavior strange. In the wake of her husband’s assassination, she is not only working tirelessly to keep his company alive but also engaging in public speaking and maintaining a very active online presence.
Many people seem unsettled by her feminine strength — perhaps because they don’t recognize it as genuine courage, or because they aren’t used to seeing a woman display bravery with poise, grace, and resilience.
At a time when most of us might be overwhelmed by grief, unable to get out of bed, Erika is stepping into exactly what her husband hoped she would do for his company. She is moving forward with beauty, composure, and determination — and that is a powerful example of courage. She is doing things most of us could never imagine, and in doing so, she demonstrates a level of strength and bravery that commands admiration and respect.
What’s wrong with a role model who chooses to grieve privately while honoring her husband’s legacy publicly? She doesn’t owe anyone her sorrow; presenting her best self in the world is, in itself, another everyday example of courage.
How to Work on Courage
Start small. Each little step builds confidence and self-esteem. Every win counts. This could be as small as speaking up in a meeting, trying a new exercise, or even starting a conversation with someone you don’t know well. Small acts of courage create momentum for bigger ones.
Find your spiritual center. This doesn’t have to be religious, although for me it is - but ask: What keeps me accountable? What values give me strength when I need it most? Courage is rooted in a greater purpose.
Clarify your priorities. Do you always have to be right—or is there something bigger at stake? Knowing what matters most helps you let go of the small battles so you can stand strong for the things that really matter. For me, this is a constant reminder and an every day practice or gratitude to keep me grounded.
Courage isn’t one-size-fits-all. For women, it can be gentle, quiet, and rooted in love—or bold, assertive, and protective. Either way, it’s about showing up, standing strong, and letting your heart guide you. And the more we recognize and cultivate it, the more powerful—and fulfilled—our lives become.